- Tips on handling the aftermath of a social event
Did I introduce myself properly? Why did I say that? Did I talk enough? Did I talk too much? So many questions plague my mind after a social event that it sometimes gets out of control. I fall down a rabbit hole of thoughts and assumptions I believe other people made about me, and as my thoughts unwind, the more and more outrageous the assumptions become.
I replay the event through my mind, over and over again, analysing my words and actions, wondering if I was a complete mess. I fear that others will negatively evaluate me after a social event.
If you find yourself evaluating your performance after a social event, I hope this blog post can help. In this blog post, I will share my experience regarding the aftermath of a social event, along with some tips that help me.
I hope you can find this post helpful.
Tips on handling the aftermath of a social event
These are some methods that help me after a social event. I am in no way an expert when it comes to dealing with some kind of anxiety; these are just the methods that help me, and maybe they could help you.
Write your thoughts
Writing down what happened helps me process my thoughts and sometimes realise how unrealistic my assumptions are. Seeing my experience on paper also helps me remember good experiences I had during the social event, especially if I focus on the positive highlights.
Focus on what they said, not what you think
Sometimes, my thoughts can run away with themselves, so it is important to focus on what the people you were with said rather than fixating on what you think they assumed after the event or their thoughts about you.
Change your focus
Sometimes focusing on what people at a social event said and not what you think can be hard, which is why I will distract myself and focus on something else. I will try to get out of my head and be present in the moment. I will write a blog post, do some laundry, go for a walk or even watch a film.
Others aren’t focusing on you
I once read that other people are so caught up in their own little bubble that they won’t even notice the things you are overthinking. I loved reading this, as it is true.
I will say something along the lines of ‘I can’t believe I said that’, while talking about a social event with my partner, and he won’t even remember that I said something I deemed embarrassing. Do you remember the last time your friend made an embarrassing slip-up during a social occasion?
The good parts
I’ve talked about distracting yourself and focusing on what others say and not what you think they thought, but you can also focus on the good part of the social event. I tend to think of everything that went wrong rather than the good things that happened. Remember the good parts of the social event, such as going to a new venue, chatting to friends, challenging yourself or wearing an outfit you love.
Everyone has embarrassing stories
Chances are, if you are like me, you didn’t embarrass yourself; you are just focusing on the manufactured scenarios in your head. If you do happen to have a social mishap, remember that everyone has embarrassing experiences that they will remember at 3 am randomly and shudder at the memory…or is that just me? If you do that as well, at least there are two of us!
Social mishaps become stories – stories that you might one day share with a smile on your face because you have put distance between yourself and the social mishap.
Other people don’t determine your self-worth
This is easy to say but harder to put into action. Other people don’t determine your self-worth. From experience, I know how much weight I can put on other people and their validation, but it shouldn’t matter.
It always frustrated me when I saw that same statement online. ‘It shouldn’t matter what people think of you, what you think of yourself is the most important thing’. It is frustrating to read, as it is true, but some part of us wants other’s to like us. But, I do find that when you like yourself, you will attract the right people and recognise those who don’t have your best interests at heart.
Start with yourself. Focus on what you do well during social events, what things you do well in general, stop comparing yourself to others and recognise your self-worth.
Breaking my habits regarding how I process a social event will take time, and I am still learning. If you relate to this blog post, know that you are not alone! I hope these tips can help, and if you have your own way of handling the aftermath of a social situation, let me know in the comments.
I realised while writing this that the issues I have relate to social anxiety; therefore, if you think you have social anxiety, please seek help from your GP. Asking for help can be difficult, but your GP will have seen it all and will know how to handle those seeking help. 💜
Check out my previous post, preparing for a social event as an introvert.